Attack of the Rabid Fangirls
by Blatherskite3
Summary: Fangirls vs the Autobots and Decepticons. -Rewritten- -Post RotF-


Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, nor anything else mentioned in this fic. I make no monetary profit.  
Rating: T  
Warnings: OOC, self-insert  
Universe: Post RotF  
Note: Guest starring in this fic is _supergirlprime_.

* * *

**Attack of the Rabid Fangirls**

It was a dull day with no real excitement. Those types of days were almost always home to some sort of prank by Jolt and/or Sideswipe, but both of them were still in the med bay after their last attempt to prank Ironhide. Yet, there was still an ominous air surrounding the Autobot base.

"'Bee?" Sam Witwicky, human ally to the Autobots whispered to his guardian.

Bumblebee looked down at his charge attentively. His vocalizer was still having trouble, so he avoided speaking whenever possible. Luckily Sam understood his gestures well enough.

"Why is it so..." Sam moved his wrist in a circle as he tried to find the right word, "Quiet?"

The yellow and black Autobot shrugged. It was quiet – more than that, it was downright silent. There was no sound of metal on metal that the Autobots always made when they walked, no sound of footsteps as the military men who came here every day tromped around... no nothing.

As any cliché movie would tell you: It was quiet. _Too_ quiet.

"C'mon 'Bee," Sam said as he began walking, looking around ever five seconds. "Let's go hide in a really big closet somewhere."

Bumblebee followed with a nod of agreement.

They passed Ironhide and Major William Lennox, who were both on guard duty. They had to be sure no Decepticons – or humans, for that matter – would find their base, after all.

Lennox glanced at the two and asked, "Going to hide in a really big closet?"

Sam nodded, "Yup."

Lennox nodded and allowed the two to continued walking. Ironhide shook his head to clear it and turned back to his post. He scanned the area and a blob of something that was moving fast towards them caught his optic. "Hey Will, you see that?"

Lennox squinted and jumped up. "What is it?" he asked as he readied his weapon.

Ironhide shrugged and warmed up his cannons. If it was shoot-able, then he didn't really give a damn.

They came into view soon enough. "A bunch of girls?" Lennox cried.

There was an ear-shattering scream as he and Ironhide were swarmed by parts of the mob. They tried to get away, but the girls – who's wide eyes seemed to have sparkles in them – were surprisingly strong and refused to let go. Ironhide couldn't risk harming them, either.

"Fangirls, _attack_!" a voice rang out above all the others.

With a collective war cry, the mob of fangirls – those who weren't Lennox or Ironhide ones, that is – charged into the base.

Every mech on base ended up with his own group of squealing fangirls. Optimus Prime's was especially large, but one girl had managed to _climb up to his shoulder_ and was sitting there like a parrot with a humongous grin on her face.

Optimus gently placed her on the ground. He transformed and the fangirls all made a path for him with gasps and murmurs of awe. He gunned his engine and drove, and each Autobot he passed did the same. Sam and Lennox were still buried alive, though.

"Cowards!" Lennox wailed.

"'Bee, save me!" Sam cried. Bumblebee looked back at his charge, before going even faster

The girl who was sitting on Optimus' shoulder climbed into a nearby Jeep. "After them!" supergirlprime shouted. The other fangirls climbed into some of the other Jeeps and they drove after the objects of their affections.

* * *

Megatron was not having a good day. It started with a failed attempt by Starscream to terminate him, and somehow evolved into their base being over run by squealing human females. They had flocked in groups around his troops, blabbering nonsense.

The only consolation was that Starscream seemed to have the biggest group next to his, and it was causing the Seeker's ego to be bruised as they climbed all over him and tried to grab his wings.

Megatron looked at his arm as he saw a particularly persistent human _climb his arm_ and have the nerve to _sit_ on his shoulder. She smiled up at him like they were old friends and said, "Hi."

Megatron raised a hand to flick her to the ground when he noticed something in her eyes. Respect? The human did not fear him, but respected him? That distracted him for a minute as he stayed frozen, his hand still halfway to his shoulder.

"Run away!" Starscream shrieked suddenly. He jumped into the air and transformed, leaving his own group of fangirls to run after him, screaming incomprehensible nonsense.

Megatron was becoming uncomfortable with the whole situation, so he flicked the human on his shoulder off. He transformed and followed his troops out of their not-so-secret base.

"Thanks," Blatherskite3 said as she stood up from the pile the other Megatron fangirls had made to save her life. "Now let's charge!"

The Decepticon fangirls hopped into the Hummers that they had driven to the base and, with a collective, "Decepticons, transform and rise up!" gave chase.

The fangirls followed their favorite characters away from their respective bases. It didn't take long for both armies (both human and Cybertronian alike) to meet up with each other somewhere in the middle.

"You have them too?" Optimus asked his brother.

"Unfortunately."

They both poured on speed, trying to get as much distance as they could from the fangirls.

Behind them, the two leaders noticed each other. "Hey, supergirlprime!" Blatherskite3 called.

Supergirlprime looked over and waved. "What a coincidence, huh?" she smiled as her underling pressed harder on the gas pedal.

Blatherskite3 nodded her agreement. She turned to bark at her driver to go faster before turning back to her friend. As they gained on the Autobots and Decepticons, she shouted, "Let's do this thing!" euphorically.

Supergirlprime nodded her agreement and added a cheer. The two fangirls led their armies in pursuit, and soon enough they caught up with the Cybertronians.

With war cries, the fangirls swarmed the exhausted mechs. As hard as they fought, they couldn't keep the fangirls from stealing bits of their armor or simply hugging them. By the time the fangirls got off, both Autobot and Decepticon looked terrible. They were missing most of their armor – and a few were even missing their optics.

The fangirls, squealing with unbridled joy, climbed into their respective vehicles and drove/rode off. They could see the two leaders talking to each other about their spoils – each a piece of armor from Megatron or Optimus respectively.

They sat in stunned and horrified silence for a while. "I propose we forget that this ever happened," Megatron finally spoke.

Optimus nodded. "Agreed."


End file.
